Don’t Kill Them with Kindness - Just Improve Their Attitude
The chances are very good that you know someone who has a poor attitude and outlook on life. Being around that person is probably very difficult, not to mention depressing. It seems that no matter what you do, nothing will make them happy. You try and try to be nice or to cheer them up, and nothing works. You are going about it the wrong way.
You need to realize that some people are just happy being unhappy, and if they can make others unhappy as well, they are even happier. So, in effect, they can have you jumping through hoops trying to make them happy - which you think is impossible - but really, they are quite happy, because they have you jumping through hoops!
Okay, it’s time to stop the circus act and step back and re-evaluate the situation. First, you must realize that you can’t control them - you can only control you. You are not responsible for someone else’s happiness - you are only responsible for your own happiness. You can’t change them - they must change themselves. There is very little you can actually do to improve the situation, and it starts with improving their attitude.
Ask them exactly what you can do to improve their situation. If they can answer that question - and many can’t - try to do what they have asked of you and see if the situation improves. If it doesn’t, move to the next step.
Approach this ‘happy to be unhappy’ person, and tell them how their unhappiness and poor attitude are affecting you. Point out that you have gone out of your way to try to improve their situation, and that it hasn’t helped. Ask them what they can do to improve their situation.
By this time, you should be able to determine if this is in fact a ‘happy to be unhappy’ person. If this is not the case, suggest counseling for them, but stop jumping through hoops and wearing yourself out. If they are indeed a ‘happy to be unhappy’ person, remove them from your life, or limit your exposure to them as much as possible. In some cases, this drastic action will make them re-evaluate themselves, and possibly improve their attitude!
