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Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-db-backup/wp-db-backup.php on line 90
<br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>170</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>171</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>170</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>171</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>170</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>171</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>170</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>171</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>170</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>171</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>170</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>171</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>170</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>171</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>170</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>171</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>170</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>171</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>170</b><br /> <br /> <b>Warning</b>: date() [<a href='function.date'>function.date</a>]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in <b>/home/positive/public_html/wp-content/plugins/headspace2/headspace_class.php</b> on line <b>171</b><br /> Self Help » Positive Thinking Now
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As seen in Cosmo, Redbook and many more...
ThinkYourselfThin.com

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Warning: mktime() [function.mktime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 14

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 23

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 25

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 27

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 28

Warning: mktime() [function.mktime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 14

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 23

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 25

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 27

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 28

Self Help Management

If you are serious about self help, you will have to develop a management approach to your personal development that you can turn to in times of need.  Self help isn’t just about an occasional book or a brief visit to a group.  Self help is about ongoing practices and long term devotion to certain principles that will eventually transform you into a better person.  For this you will need a long term management policy or procedure to help you mark your progress and outline your plan of action.

A management procedure often involves organizers, calendars, journals etc.  These can all be used together to plan out your goals and practical efforts as you set out to improve yourself.  Typically, people who are setting out to improve themselves don’t have a very good relationship with themselves and can’t always trust themselves to follow through on their goals.  Just how bad are you at following through?  This will be the first question you need to answer before you can make a serious plan for yourself. In fact, answering the question of how well you can trust yourself to follow through may be the central issue of your whole spiritual path.

Let’s look at an example.  You have a goal to lose a certain amount of weight but you know that every time you have tried this in the past, you have failed.  A good self help management procedure will outline daily goals that are actually reachable. You should be able to honestly ask yourself “What is the best eating behavior I have ever exhibited?”  Then, after honestly answering this question, you should set a weekly goal to try and achieve something slightly lower than this ideal behavior that you exhibited in the past.  Don’t shoot for everything right away!  You are trying to establish an honest relationship with yourself and this requires setting some reasonable goals first and accomplishing them. This will also involve the use of a calendar and an organizer to show exactly what you plan to do each day and how you plan to mark it off as you complete it.  This calendar and organizer will become your “bible” of self help and, as you accomplish more and more, you will develop a relationship with this bible that will eventually become quite sacred!

Self help management is more than just writing things down and keeping track of them.  It is keeping track of your SELF!  Watching yourself each day and developing a relationship with yourself wherein you can trust yourself to accomplish certain things is the foundation of good character.  Along with the help of a coach, you can begin to develop this relationship with yourself and grow into the person you have always wanted to be.  Success and failure are all part of the program but the most important thing is to keep a constant watch on yourself and get to know where your strengths and weaknesses are.  Very few people actually know themselves or can honestly say what their abilities are.  They imagine themselves to be capable of everything under the sun but they’ve never really kept track of their progress and set up a procedure for self help management. If you follow through with such a procedure, you will be amazed at the new dimensions that begin to open up in your life.

Getting started on a real plan for self help can be a great adventure.  There’s no need to wait for tomorrow.  The pen and the paper are right there so pick them up and get started!


Warning: mktime() [function.mktime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 14

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 23

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 25

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 27

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 28

Warning: mktime() [function.mktime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 14

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 23

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 25

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 27

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 28

Self Help Group

If you are serious about spiritual growth and self help, then a group is practically indispensable in getting you where you need to go. It is a fundamental truth in psychology and self help that you simply cannot overcome your problems alone.  You need people who have been where you are and who have gone through the struggles you likely will go through as well.  Even if your problem is the inability to be alone, it is likely that you can get some help from other people who use to be afraid of this but who found a way to face their fear and are now completely comfortable with being alone.

A self help group is one of the best ways to make a serious change because the others in the group will keep you honest.  We all know how to lie to ourselves and pretend as though we are making a change even when we are not.  We run from place to place talking about how we want to change and reading every book in sight but we are experts at avoiding the true issue beneath the surface.  Our biggest fears are buried deep inside and we look for any way to avoid them so that we won’t have to face ourselves.  Self help groups force us top be honest because everyone there can see through our lies and it becomes much harder to continue the same old behavior that we have been doing up until now.

As an example, it will help to consider some specific problems that people struggle with and eventually find help in a self help group.  One of the most common of these is alcoholism.  For years, alcoholics rationalize their problem with drinking and go through scores of relationships wherein they will do and say anything in order to continue drinking.  Divorce, loss of job, loss of house and loss of family are all typical patterns for alcoholics even if these losses take place over the course of decades.  Eventually, the alcoholic looks back over their life and realizes they’ve been running from one simple truth.  They can’t stop drinking.  Hundreds of people had already seen the problem in the alcoholic but they couldn’t see it themselves. The last place on Earth they wanted to go was a self help group.  Desperation and disaster finally leave them no other option and they fall into AA to ask for help.

Another common example that we see over and over in self help groups is the pattern of controlling behavior.  People tend to avoid the fact that they are powerless over others and seek out relationships where they can control someone either through money or manipulation, always feeling that they are never satisfied with anyone they meet.  They struggle with anger issues and feelings of rage when they don’t get what they want and their marriages and relationships with their children suffer as a result.  Finding themselves at the end of their rope, they may finally turn to a counselor or therapist for help but find that no therapist seems “good enough” for them either.  Because of a problem that is simply too big to ignore, they may stay around the therapist’s office for several months and, if they are lucky enough to listen to an expert just a little, they may finally have a breakthrough where they can finally see their own self centered behavior up close.  Therapists are trained to help a person see their own behavior in a way that is impossible for them to see on their own.  It’s a big difference between a person who can say they are a “control freak” and a person who can actually employ the courage to experience the fear of letting go.  This is what others can help us to do and why self help groups are now so successful.

As much as we all wish we could do it all on our own, nobody is all-powerful and we all can benefit from an outside perspective once in a while. As the famous saying goes, “You can’t unscrew your screwed up head with your screwed up head!”  Having the humility to see that you need a little help might just bring you the courage to seek one out.  Your spiritual growth will be increased tenfold when you follow through and make a self help group part of your ongoing spiritual progress.


Warning: mktime() [function.mktime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 14

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 23

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 25

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 27

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/positive/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 28

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Self Help for Women

Self Help has come a long way in the past several decades.  It used to be that “women’s issues” weren’t even thought of let alone specialized in Universities, counseling centers and books all over the world.  In just a few short decades, self help for women has burgeoned into a major industry and a worldwide movement.  Entire countries that used to promote traditional cultures where women were expected to be submissive to their husbands are now taking up new values and becoming part of a globalization of equality.

Women’s issues were traditionally overlooked in the past largely because of the fact that the jobs were simply held by men and the economy and industry of publications and counseling were exclusively male driven.  Today, things have changed and there is plenty of self help available for specific women’s issues as well.  Women have issues that they still face concerning self esteem, sexuality and even “the perfect body image” but they can now face these issues out in the open and learn to grow and change just like men are doing.  As human beings, we all have issues to contend with and none of us are perfect.  It is a great step that we can now recognize this together and learn to grow spiritually regardless of our genders.

Some of the women’s issues which are constantly challenged by the media and by product advertising today concern objectification and marginalization.  These are issues that concern women individually and often require a person who has already “been there” who can help. One great program which has pioneered the movement against the marginalization of women is the Oprah Winfrey Show.  Setting herself apart from many other self help guru’s, Oprah avoids much of the negative language aimed against men and instead focuses on the solutions that women can use to overcome in society. The Oprah Winfrey Show also raises awareness of many other issues outside of just women’s self help and thereby makes itself accessible to an even wider audience.  This places the struggle for women’s self esteem and self empowerment into a larger context of world issues rather than cutting it off from its connection to all issues that face humanity.  Greater self esteem for women means greater self esteem for everyone and the Oprah Winfrey Show has been a great benefit to humanity because of this fact.

Self help books for women are widespread but some of the earlier works are especially notable for those who wish to get a foundational understanding of the issues.  Interestingly, Anna Freud, the daughter of Dr. Sigmund Freud actually contributed to the work of psychoanalysis in a very profound way when she wrote the famous work The Ego and Mechanisms of Defense. This is one of the classic works of psychoanalysis which actually brought together many of her father’s ideas in a more succinct and clear fashion thus making them more easily identifiable for all people.  Another great book which is part of the classic works on women’s issues comes from Nancy Friday and is entitled My Mother Myself. Here, Nancy Friday investigates the core issues which involve women in relationship with their mother’s and uncovers the common reasons for self esteem issues in women.  She leads the reader to a deeper understanding of herself so that she may identify her issues more readily and find a way to move ahead in her life.  Although a third book has been largely left behind in terms of the women’s movement, Carol Gilligan’s book In a Different Voice was a groundbreaking work decades ago in terms of the women’s movement and is still offered in many University courses today.

Wherever you choose to start, there is a wellspring of information on women’s self help today.  Women have taken the lead in terms of personal growth in many areas and have caused men to stand up and take notice as they lead the way into a better future for all of us.


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Teen Self Help

Getting through the teenage years is often one of the hardest parts of a person’s entire life.  This is a time when emotions run high and changes are taking place at an astronomical rate.  Oftentimes, a person doesn’t have the time to catch up with what is happening to them and a lot of big mistakes are likely to happen.

The early years of high school and college are also a time where things may not always be as they seem to be on the surface.  Those who are largely successful in high school often find that college is a completely different world and the qualities that seemed so important in their earlier years are no longer admired or sought after in the later years.  These transitions can be hard for many people and being able to foresee the things that will truly be important when you get older is not always the easiest thing for many people.  Even those who can see the future quite clearly will oftentimes be intimidated by their younger peers to get off course and to pursue a less beneficial route over the long term. Later on, we see them suffering for their mistakes but there is little that can be done since life is mainly a training ground for the wise.

When you are going through your teen years, one of the wisest things that you can carry with you is an understanding or awareness that things aren’t going to be this way for very long.  People around you are all getting older and it happens quite fast so that the things that seemed so extremely important in high school become relatively unimportant later on.  A terrible heartbreak or a losing season on the school’s basketball team can often send a teenager into a sense of emotional turmoil unless they are able to see the long term picture of their lives.  Even something as terrible as becoming an outcast in high school or getting beat up and humiliated after school is something that eventually can be seen as nothing more than a bad set of circumstances that has very little to do with who you really are inside as a person.

Life is much bigger than just the teenage years and yet, these years tend to seem as if they are everything and the newness of emotional experiences as a teen tend to make these illusions seem even more real.  It’s best to remember that life goes on for many decades after high school and the people you see around you today will be completely different in only a few short years.  They will seem like entirely different people altogether after ten or twenty years.  Adults love to say “You haven’t changed a bit!” but the opposite is actually the case when they really look at who they were in their early years.  The wisest of the young people will see this and won’t take anything to terribly serious whenever it goes wrong.  Set your goals for the long haul and don’t get thrown to far when something doesn’t go quite right.  You’ve got your whole life ahead of you and it’s very likely to be impossible for you to comprehend such a large span of time!

Teen self help is all about learning to cope with the troubling emotions that are so new and can sometimes overwhelm you and seem like they might just contribute to the end of the world.  Looking for the big picture and learning how to move on from a problem is a great ability to have when you are young.  It makes it possible to reassess your course as you go and to better determine what you really want to be as you get older.  It also helps you to choose your friends more carefully and stand up for who you are.  Learning to face your fears and develop a sense of courage is something that can lead you through anything in life and bring you out the other end as a great success.  There’s no better time in your life than the teen years and also, quite often, no worse time either.  Don’t let the ups and downs overwhelm you too soon as we want you along for the entire ride!


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Personal Self Help

When it comes to self help and a spiritual path in life, everyone is different.  There is no set of rules that can be applied to anyone across the board because each person has their own individual set o circumstances that are specific for them.   Personal self help means finding out what your specific issues are that are different from other peoples and then finding a way that you can fit these issues into a more common form of treatment that is convenient and readily available.

Every alcoholic or drug addict that ever existed enters a treatments center or a twelve step meeting with the idea that “I am different from thee people” and every one of them is right to some degree.  Regardless of this truth, however, the same solutions often work for many different people and, even though your specific problems may be different, they can still be applied in similar ways to a solution that works.  Personal self help does take into account the differences that each person has and yet it also takes those differences and helps to bring out the similarities that can be seen with countless other individuals that have felt the same way.  For example, it really doesn’t matter how many different drinks or how many drugs you have ever taken, as an addict and alcoholic it is imperative that you get away from all drugs and alcohol and get away from the people who you previously used to drink or take drugs with.

Personal self help can also take into account your differences in terms of the manner n which your spiritual path can progress once you have first accepted the fact that you aren’t entirely different from anyone else.  You may follow a path which believes in a certain religion or a certain spiritual practice because of your own preferences but this will only come after you have had the humility to admit that your problems aren’t as unique as you would like to think. Some people pursue yogic practices or learn how to perform seated meditation.  Others prefer to take up a career or start a business to fulfill their highest potential.  Others besides these may throw themselves into their religion as a way of finding new meaning in their lives.  It really doesn’t matter which path you pursue once you recognize that basic health first comes by following certain principles of self help that are true for everyone.

One of the most basic and fundamental values that exists throughout all spiritual practices or any kind of endeavor which aims at success is that you cannot be a self-centered person and be successful.  Even the most self-centered people who have struck it rich on television or movies have eventually found that they weren’t truly happy without a meaningful relationship with other people in their lives.  Self-centeredness breed’s unhappiness and it is therefore paramount, when you are first starting out on your self help journey, to learn how to get outside of yourself and to open yourself up to the lives of others in some way, shape or form.

The basic principles of self help were first laid out by Dr. Sigmund Freud years ago when he recognized that the ego is at the center of all of our problems and raising our consciousness is part and parcel to discovering a more healthy lifestyle. Dr. Freud and others who came after him such as Dr. Carl Jung and Dr. David R. Hawkins have paved the way for a brighter tomorrow.  They have shown us what our personal path to self help can look like if we are truly dedicated to healing ourselves and finding a better life.  Personal self help is something that everyone can now benefit from and something that you should take advantage of yourself before it is too late.


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Self Help and Psychology

The self help movement really began with the advent of psychiatry and the first revolutionary ideas of Dr. Sigmund Freud.  Although Freud’s ideas have been largely supplemented and many of them have been outright replaced, his work concerning the subconscious mind have revolutionized the way we view ourselves and our future.

Psychology really began with Dr. Sigmund Freud and his inner circle of students who later went on to establish the science of psychoanalysis and the technique for raising the unconscious to the conscious level of awareness.  This process of clinical psychoanalysis was the first rigorous science of the mind which has since been used as the foundation for many other practices and techniques that have spread throughout the Western world.

Raising consciousness has always been a great value in spiritual traditions and, as a general rule, is far from being something new in history. As far back as 5000 BC, it is largely believed that Hindu sages practices rituals and techniques of mediation to raise their own subconscious minds to a higher level of consciousness and were monumentally successful in many cases.  Even without the very detailed and succinct observations of modern psychiatry, these age old sages were capable of reaching incredible heights of transcendental consciousness all through the use of yoga and meditation.  These practices have made a great comeback in recent decades because of the more rigorous discoveries in psychoanalysis which how that increasing your consciousness can actually be proven to bring about greater health and well being among many psychoanalytic patients.

The self help movement has also gotten a giant boost from the discoveries of Sigmund Freud and his greatest student Dr. Carl Jung.  Dr. Jung eventually broke away from his teacher and pursued a wider application of Freud’s ideas so as to apply the importance of spiritual reality to the discoveries of improving one’s level of consciousness.  Freud was widely criticized for placing too much importance on the role of sexuality in our growth as human beings.  Dr. Jung saw further than this and recognized that spiritual ideas also play an important role in our development and can be used to raise our consciousness in ways that Freud was never able to see.  Dr. Jungs work involving the collective unconscious and archetypes of the mind have contributed to our understanding of the importance of self help and spiritual growth. In fact, it is widely known that Dr. Jung’s clinical practice helped to spark the earliest growth of the twelve step groups today and his specific work with the founders of Alcoholic’s Anonymous was the beginning of a movement which has utterly transformed our modern day society and the self help movement.

Psychology has played an integral role in the development of the self help movement and this trend is far from being over.  The most modern contributor to this great movement is Dr. David R. Hawkins who has written an even more influential work entitled Power Versus Force which now begins another great wave of contributions to the progress of higher consciousness and spiritual development.  Dr. Hawkins discoveries concerning the science of kinesiology prove that consciousness itself can actually be measured according to the internal reactions of the body.  This discovery brings great promise to the world of both psychiatry and spiritual growth because it introduces an actual compass for the spiritual seeker.  Kinesiology may now be used to determine the level of consciousness of thousands of different spiritual techniques, practices, writings, teachers and even places or things which all carry with them a certain field of power that can be researched and understood directly through the reactions they have on the body’s internal energy meridians.  The implications of this recent discovery are only just beginning to be recognized by thousands of people around the world.

The future is bright for both psychology and self help as many new discoveries are being made each day that will soon transfer the way we view ourselves and the people around us.  It will serve you best to be one of the wise people who gets on the self help bandwagon now while the discoveries are just making their greatest effect they will have ever made before.


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Self Help Anxiety

Making the decision to get some help can be intimidating for many people. How do we know who to trust when it comes to our problems? For many people, the idea of trust is such a problem that they avoid getting help at all. Typically, their problems in their lives only worsen as a result of avoiding the help they need and they eventually find themselves in a desperate situation. Once you are desperate, you will accept help from anyone and you won’t have the luxury of choosing where to go. That’s why it’s important to be sensible and seek out help early before your problems get too bad. This will help you to avoid any serious problems and make the solution to the problem much quicker and easier.

Anxiety typically comes about because of a lack of trust in the people around us. Although we can certainly say that there are a lot of trouble makers out there, it is also the rule that people typically exacerbate a problem when they become afraid and what might have been resolved quite easily becomes a very big ordeal. If you have a problem in your personal life and you need to get some help, ask around and get some references from other people who you already know. Many people are familiar with various counselors or therapists who they have had some kind of experience with or whom they know someone else has received excellent treatment. Many of the twelve step groups are also very helpful and it can be a lot easier to attend your first meeting if you go along with someone you have already met who can show you the ropes the first few times.

If you still feel afraid to reach out and find some help, there are a few basic tips that you can use to maintain a sense of security as you journey out into this new world of self help. First, think about the questions you may have before you go out and meet a new counselor or group of people. Write down the things you want to ask them ahead of time so that you will keep a clear sense of your purpose for going there. This will also make it easier to remember your questions if you get into a state of anxiety along the way. Second, remember that it is ok just to listen and to allow the other person to do most of the talking the first time. You can tell them that you feel a bit “new” to all of this so you were planning on just listening on your first visit. Although you may have a few questions, you would prefer hearing everything they have to say about the process first and ask your questions later.

When attending your first 12 step group, you can expect to be greeted by one or two people when you arrive but it is also quite normal for others to leave you alone when you first sit down. If someone introduces themselves, just be friendly and introduce yourself as well. Tell them this is your first night so you were going to just listen. If they offer to show you the ropes, be open to anything they wish to tell you and listen to their suggestions. Most people at a twelve step group simply want to help because they have found that it benefits them in their own life when they reach out to others and try to lend a helping hand. You may be surprised to find that the person who first frightened you at your first meeting turned out to be one of the most helpful people you ever met!

After you get up the courage to try out a new place or a new person who can help you, make sure and congratulate yourself for facing one of your biggest fears in life. It is a very common fear among people seeking out help to be absolutely terrified about what the others in the room are going to “think” about them. Surprisingly, however, newcomers to the world of self help discover that the other people they meet have already seen hundreds of people like them before. Your problems are far from being as “unique” and “different” in the self help circle as you may think. You aren’t the center of the universe and most people will only be slightly interested to see you anyway. After a few visits, you will find that you feel a lot more comfortable and your problems weren’t nearly as scary as you thought.


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Marriage and Self Help

Love is the royal road to salvation.  It doesn’t matter what race, religion or gender you are, love is available to everyone as a way of getting yourself up out of the problems in your life and finding the road to happiness.  One thing that many people fail to realize, however, is that marriage does not equal love.  You can get married as many times as you like but love doesn’t come out of marriage no matter what religion, church or spiritual organization you come from.  In order for marriage to work, love has to be there first and it has to be something you can nourish and help to grow or it will surely dry up and fade away.  Marriage needs love the way a flower needs water. Without love, you have nothing.

When we talk about love, what is it we are talking about exactly?  What can we do to get this love and keep it?  Self help in marriage is all about finding the way to feed your love and make it grow.  Love isn’t something that just anyone can maintain although it is available as an option to everyone.  Maintaining love is something that only a few select people are capable of and the percentage is surprisingly quite low.  It is estimated by some of the greatest psychiatrists in the self help field that love is really an energy that can only be maintained by something close to two percent of the population!  Do these numbers sound low to you? They sound low to a lot of people and yet, statistics often show that the feelings people identify as love often turn to discouragement and resentment after only a few short months and breakups are a dime a dozen in the game of love.   If the numbers sound low, there is no need to feel discouraged.  Although love may only be possible for a small percentage of the population, it doesn’t have to be you who loses out.  Seeing the pitfalls ahead of time and developing a sober attitude toward the difficult challenges of love can be the very thing that saves you from the overwhelming statistics.  This is especially true if you discover this valuable information early.  Most people don’t learn this until after their first marriage is over.  Even divorce doesn’t have to mean discouragement as people’s second marriages often tend to be more successful than their first.  This is because some sobering lessons are learned the first time around that were just to difficult for most people to swallow in the beginning.

One of the most sobering truths about successful marriages that most people don’t want to admit is that money plays a much bigger role in the outcome of the marriage than was ever expected by newlyweds.  The number one topic of argument among married couples is money.  Money plays a role in everything we do, from our self esteem in our careers to the much needed vacations we take when the stress becomes too much.  If the money is short, the tensions tend to rise and then the arguments begin.  Married couples who have no money ordinarily need to be exceptional individuals with great inner strength and determination to make things work.  This is already a great truth for those who already have a lot of money so it is even more true for those who don’t.

Another extremely sobering truth for married couples is that partnerships often survive because of a common project of goal that each partner has with the other.  Oftentimes, couples bond for life because of their children who, after the initial joy of the marriage begins to fade, the children come along to bring a renewed sense of purpose into their lives and keep them together no matter what the problems are that they face.  Couples who share a business together or similar careers can also find mutual respect and joy for each other. Even these commonalities, however, are often not enough to sustain the marriage in many cases.  Many marriages have failed even though the two are from similar careers start with children early on.

All is not lost! The most common factor which is identified in successful marriages is an importance which is placed on spiritual growth and self help between two people.  This spirituality that exists between two people is hard to define and may even come in the form of two people being driven in their careers.  Underneath all of this, however, is a commitment to better themselves and the belief that love is a great power which is deserving of respect and reverence.    The mystery of love and marriage may never be solved but it certainly benefits a person early on to know the stakes and to be aware of the many pitfalls.  Only in this way can you make your chances much better for finding and fulfilling love in your life.


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Self Help and Your Self Esteem

People with low self esteem often feel completely alone when it comes to finding a solution to their problem.  Without a proper direction finder, they may turn their strength over to one person after another and never really find anyone who can help them.  Feeling alone is likely to be one of the most central issues facing people with low self esteem and this is what puts them at a disadvantage.  In order to truly be able to find the right direction in life and to choose the people who will treat us with the respect we deserve, we must first be capable of facing our innermost fears.  This fear, of being alone, is the primary fear that must be faced by people with low self esteem.

In order to be able to stand up for yourself, you must be able to walk away from an unhealthy relationship.  Whether you actually choose to leave the relationship or not is incidental.  The important thing is that you must at least feel that you are capable of leaving.  Many people with low self esteem don’t truly know if they are capable of leaving an unhealthy relationship and this is something that the other people in their lives can often sense regardless of the good intentions that they may possess.  Because of this critical issue facing people with low self esteem, there are several techniques and practices that can be accomplished as a start which can help to lead to a greater sense of self esteem.  The first of these is to practice being alone.  For many people, this prospect is terrifying.  The fear follows them around everywhere they go, from the minute they wake up in the morning to the final second before they fall asleep.  “I can’t be alone” is the common phrase you will hear and it isn’t just a casual joke.

Fear of being alone is something that deeply affects every aspect of your life if you have not faced up to it.  The surprising thing is, the fear is entirely imaginary as many people discover when they finally raise their courage to try and face it.  Similar to the way a person may enjoy their first airplane ride, they don’t get up in the air without first being extremely scared and wanting to get off the plane altogether.  Then as the plane takes off, they imagine they are going to crash and see horrible images of explosions and screaming amongst the passengers.  All of this turns out to be completely imaginary, however, as they quickly realize once the plane has reached its highest altitude and levels off.  Flying is really fun! What was I so scared of?  This experience is very similar for people who are afraid to be alone.

When you first decide to set aside some time each day to be alone, you will likely feel your stomach turn and you will acquire a very large lump in your throat.  Imagining false scenarios such as the fact that “Nobody loves me” or “I might die if I am alone” will all come to your mind as you begin to take the prospect more seriously.  It helps to determine a set amount of time up front that you will dedicate to being alone.  It may only be 30 minutes a day but you can rest assured that you will accomplish it each day and find that you didn’t die or get left without a friend when your time is over.  Eventually, you may increase the time to one hour a day or more and start to find that this time becomes a wonderful thing where you can enjoy a good book or just a relaxing walk around a lake.  Being alone is one of the greatest things available to us because it gives us time to sort out our thoughts and decide what we really want out of life.  We no longer have to be at the mercy of so many people who don’t really have our best interests at heart, regardless of their intentions. People all face issues of their own and each of us could do quite well to look inside ourselves and find the strength to overcome some of our most ridiculous fears.  This is what will improve our self esteem and lead us into a happier and healthier life in the future.


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How Life Affects Us - And How We Can Prevent It


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Life throws things our way that we don’t always like. Problems arise, people say or do things that hurt us, jobs are lost, or we become ill. Life is seldom perfect, and if it were, we would become bored with it very quickly. (more…)

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